Once in a while, I find a song that I know must be on the soundtrack to my life (see the page “Soundtrack to My Life” above). The moment the notes hit my ears, I know that it belongs in my story. It’s inspiring and awakens the creative. Sometimes it even touches me in a way that makes me want to be a better person. Other times it echoes what I’m going through back to me in a way that gives me perspective. This is one of those songs…
“It’s better to feel pain, than nothing at all.”
These words couldn’t be truer to my story at the moment. I awoke this morning after about 5 hours of sleep in a state of anxiety… seemingly my resting state these days. However, today, as I sat up in bed, I closed my eyes and smiled, relishing the feeling. I let it drive me all day, instead of terrifying and paralyzing me. I’m having trouble sleeping, again. But this time, it’s because I don’t want to miss anything. Even though life’s a real struggle right now, I am appreciating the ride. I feel deep inside me that I need to experience what I am right now; I need to feel these things, despite how much I’d prefer not to.
“When we were young, oh, oh, we did enough”
Sometimes, I feel like I’m missing out on all the stupid-fun I used to have. 22-year-old me would not approve of me staying in on a weekend night, but 28-year-old me doesn’t want to deal with 22-year-olds anymore and doesn’t have the patience to deal with general douche-baggery. I find myself thinking back on old times and smiling, though, gathering old memories like precious stones. I guess, when I was young, I did do enough… 🙂
As a bonus:
It’s an interesting concept: “wearing your flaws upon your sleeve.”